Friday, July 01, 2005

You're joking right???

An ode to dairy. Who doesn't love a big bowl of ice cream? I'm particularly fond of Blue Bunny Super Fudge Brownie, or almost any variety of Ben and Jerry's. That takes me back to my days on BYU campus, shopping at Food 4 Less, loading up our cart with Ben and Jerry's and a few yogurts and oranges to even things out. But back to the dairy. I also have been known to down quite a few oreos with a big glass of milk, ice cold from the fridge. Picture this, the best pizza you've ever had, the kind that leaves the cheese hanging from your chin. A big cheeseburger, ooy, gooy lasagna, big bowl of cereal in front of the tv on Saturday morning catching up on the latest cartoons, the never ending pasta bowl at your favorite restaurant loaded up with cheesy marinara and parmasean cheese, and don't forget the garlic cheese bread. Ok, are you sufficiantly overloaded yet? I could go on and on. Feel free to share your favorite dairy item. Ok, now picture it gone. (Gone, all Gone! --from A Christmas Story, after the famous Bumpus' hounds eat up the turkey!! Love that movie!)

That's where I found myself after giving birth to my daughter Whitney. She's 5 weeeks old, and I'm sitting at the Dr's office for the 4th time waiting for someone to tell me what the heck is wrong with this child. "I can't do this." "I'm not meant to be this baby's mother!" "She hates me." "I wonder if the hospital will take her back?" "Please someone tell me what to do" Ok, before you call me a bad mother for thinking this, do you have children? Have you heard a baby scream at the top of her lungs for hours on end? If you have a baby that slept through the night from day 1 and "never cries" and is a perfect child, get out of the way, you aren't who I'm talking too, and by the way, get real! After the nurse took her diaper from me and waited 5 minutes, she bounced back in the room and said, "Well, there's definitely blood in there!"

Ok, let's make me feel a little worse, I haven't slept, I cry all the time, while Whitney's crying, my two other children are completely neglected, all I can do is feed her all the time and when Matt can take her I eat and eat, chocolate, ice cream, cheeseburgers, oreos with milk, total comfort!!! (Wow, that was quite a sentance, I apologize to all those teachers out there!!!) Now you tell me that my child is in so much pain that she's pooping blood!@!@!@! You're joking right? Even though you couldn't see a thing in there but the lovely runny, mustard, gunk, they swore there was blood in there. Ok, so I thought I was doing this lovely bonding, healthy, nutritious, good for the mom and baby, immunity building breastfeeding and this is what I get. After several minutes of sobbing (I think the nurse was a little afraid) I said Ok, what is going on?

She's probably lactose intolerant, and most babies that are lactose intolerant (or "sensitive"--now you tell me if that blood curdling cry means she's just sensitive!) are also soy intolerant. Which leaves me with the one option of "Rice milk". I don't even want to think of the process of milking rice so lets just not even entertain that thought. Anyway, so the Dr. comes in and hands over the death sentance. "Here's your new diet! " The pages felt like a brick as he laid it in my hands. A full page of things to 'avoid' and then at the very bottom, what you CAN eat. Two small sentances, yippee pretzels. You're joking right? Fruits, vegetables, most meat. Oh, goodie, exactly what you want to eat when your baby is screaming. Let me just whip up a quick fruit salad. Delicious. NO thanks, I want the frozen peanut butter twix. But wait, no chocolate. That has to be a mis print! Nope, you heard it here first, virtually all chocolate (good chocolate anyway) has dairy. It's a little scary to think of a chocolate without dairy. I went home and searched desperately online for anything I could eat. Not a whole lot. If anything I found more lists of things I couldn't eat. Dang Puters!!!! After only a few days on this diet, not really a diet, but more of a torture, I found a chocolate cake mix and frosting with no dairy. I showed it to Matt and he looked at me and said, "wow, I haven't seen you that happy in a really long time." Sorry, dear, there's just something about chocolate, right girls? I think I ate half the cake that night.

So 8 weeks later now, the diet is not any easier, Whitney is better, so I guess it's worth it. Dang kids, they do it to you everytime!! I'm sure I look like a freak at the grocery store, at least that's what I used to think of the people that check the ingredients of everything they buy. (Come on lady, it's oreos, you know it's bad for you, why do you even need to look????) I was so excited to find a brownie mix with no dairy, I think I've told almost everyone about it. Whenever my daughter Madison eats ice cream, she says "this bite's for you Mom, wow, it was good." Everyday I day dream of pizza, cheese, oreos with milk, chocolate. . . So when you find yourself with a big bowl of ice cream, cereal, or eating a snickers, enjoy, I'll be having a huge "Dairy lovers" party in about 6 more months!!!! Maybe a trip to the Ben and Jerry's factory is in order, and we'll stop by the Hershey's factory too! And I'm NOT joking!!!!


Anonymous said...

All I can say is that I think you're a real trooper. I felt so badly that I fixed the sandwiches on that bread you couldn't eat. And that caused Whitney to fuss again.
And That I couldn't get to you, the last few brownies yoou made, so you could eat them on the way home.

Joel says you're a very special person.

Love, Mom

wendysue said...

Gotta love Mom!! We had one bad day on our trip there because I ate some bread that ended up having dairy in it and Whitney sure let us know about it. But hey, it just reminded me of how much better she is and how bad it used to be! I think Joel is pretty awesome too! (And I made a new pan of brownies today, and I'm doing pretty well, they're only half gone!)

Anonymous said...

I think you're still brave to breastfeed, I think I would have said, okay, it's formula for you kid. Though, that soy formula stuff smells really nasty, so I don't know if I could handle that. Actually, this sounds like a pretty good way to loose your baby fat...the no chocolate thing certainly would've helped me. I ate 3 bags of mini snickers, up to 4 a day when I had a newborn...for some reason it was always the easiest thing to grab. (He was born right before Halloween, so I ate all the stuff we were supposed to give out, and then we had to buy more, and then when there weren't very many trick-or-treaters we had a bunch left over, so I ate all of that too.) In a year, you'll think back and did I ever do that?

wendysue said...

I love those snicker snackers!!
The only thing about the formula is that since she's probably intolerant to soy as well, the only option is a type of super hypoallergenic formula that costs up to $30 a can!! So the Dr. said, try the diet for a month, we'll test her again and if it's not working, we'll put her on the formula (Darn, the diet worked!) I have almost lost all my baby weight (but those brownies are really good!) I am really worried about the repercussions after 1 year of doing this. . . I know I'm going to go nuts on the dairy after I'm done breastfeeding.

Bek said...

Wendy, I feel for you. I am with the person above that said they would have stopped nursing. That is huge. I hope you loose all the pregnancy weight and more!!! In fact, I hope that you are the same size that you were when you graduated from HIGH SCHOOL for all your efforts.

As an adult I found out that I was allergic to corn. At first I thought it wouldn't be too bad--no popcorn or Nachos. Turns out everything is sweetened w/ corn syrup and thickened w/ corn starch. Sob, sob.

Good Luck w/ the baby--your girls are so beautiful!
Rebecca (Lisa's old roommate)

wendysue said...

Hey Rebecca, now let's not get too crazy talking about high school weight!! That's a world away.... (maybe after the resurrection!) I know what you mean about corn, my Dr. did say if I really wanted to clear things up to drop dairy, soy, nuts, corn, wheat, eggs (HELLLLLOOOO! That's everything!) And corn IS in everything, I've realized that since I'm reading all the labels now!

lisa v. clark said...

You are a brave, brave woman. I think it's amazing that you're still nursing. You be sure to hold it over her head when she's a teen for that edge. I know this won't make you feel better, but I've discovered that if I eat spinach (big spinach salads), Hugh has a fit. Yeah, so I had to give it up :0) Yeah, it's like the same thing as dairy, chocolate. . . right? Hey, dark chocolate is the best--is Dove's dark chocolate kosher?

I have fond memories of 3 am trips to Food 4 Less. Remember when we'd get those Peppridge Farm Pizza's? How in the world was I thin in college?

I love your movie reference. I made Topher watch St. Elmo's FIre the other night (he'd never seen the classic!) and after about 20 minutes I said. . . well, maybe you had to be. . . there. . . I guess it was. . . the 80's? Nothing like watching one with YOU!

Go watch Stand By Me and eat some dairy-free brownies!

abelnap said...

Lisa Clark, your spinach comment is just infantile....

Wendy, my 7 month old is something intolerant. You're a better mother than I--Hattie just cried for three months straight, then I decided somthing just wasn't right and I put her on soy formula. She got better. I felt guilty so one morning I nursed her and she thre up all over me so I felt better about the soy. I didn't even really consult the doctor. Good, now I can feel guilty about that. I could never do the diet thing. You go, girl!