Thursday, June 08, 2006

I can't just throw it away

(OK, so I tried, and tried and TRIED to get a picture to post here, but blogger and I are not very good friends today I guess so. . .just use your imagination!!)

Since our remodeling project, I've been trying to become one of those people that can just throw away/give away things. I tend to hold onto too much, in many different ways. "I might need that. . .someday." It's hard to throw away things I've worked on, worked for or worked through. That brings me to this. Breastmilk.

Did I lose anyone?

Whitney was a tough baby. You can read more about our fun time here. She was diagnosed MSPI finally around 8 weeks. I then embarked on what I thought was "Mission Impossible." A dairy, soy, nut free diet. It may not seem so bad, but that stuff is in everything. EVERYTHING!! Yuck. I had to starve myself, or work very hard at fixing my own meals while watching Matt and the girls eat something I really wanted. I'm amazed that I talked myself into it, struggled through it and actually triumphed. I never want to have to do it again, but I did it. And the real benefit? It worked. Whitney actually became a mostly happy baby. After around 6 months of the diet, she started to be fussy, inconsolable, and have yucky diapers again. So frustrating. Nothing like not knowing if it's you, or teeth, or some illness, or the bananas, or squash that she ate that is making her angry. Time and again, I was convinced it was me, questioning every tiny thing that could've passed my lips. So, we gave in, examined our finances and tried the formula. Not just regular run-of-the-mill formula, but the expensive stuff. Yeah, if you thought just formula was expensive try this. . . she had to be on Alimentum formula. For a 16 oz. formula (ready to feed-no adding water) container, it's $7.49. And that's at it's lowest price we've seen. Oh, and once it's open, you have to use it within 48 hours. I don't do math, but even I knew it was going to be a pinch. On the advice of the pediatrician, we decided to do a trial run on the formula to see if she could tolerate it and if it would help. So I continued to pump for two weeks while we tried the formula. No bad reactions and her attitude did seem better and best of all. . .if she was fussy or gassy. . it WASN'T MY FAULT.

Fast forward to this month. Whitney is a fabulous kiddo. She toddles around and loves to grin and make you laugh. Totally independent and loves her sisters. She's eating great and just this last month is finally tolerating regular milk (a little gassy, but nothing like before) for her morning and night time drink. This week she even had a grilled cheese sandwich, bites of ice cream, cottage cheese and regular cheese. I cringed this first few times feeding her something with dairy but it's getting better. I'm SO glad she has seemed to grow out of it.

Every time over the last 6 months, I would go to our big freezer in the basement and I was forced to use my Tetris skills as I manuvered the food around the bags and bags of frozen breastmilk. Now, 6 months after I stopped pumping, it's offically past it's "use by" time so I need to throw it away. THROW IT AWAY? After all that I put into that? I can't do it. I know, I know, I should have given it to the milk bank at some hospital or given it away to someone, it just didn't get done. I don't know if I was just lazy or I just didn't want to, but in any case, it's still sitting in my freezer, staring at me.


AzĂșcar said...

I know how you feel, I don't know if I could have thrown it out. Looking at this bags when you know how much time it took to get those ounces and the dedication to rotation, etc, etc.


I had to stop eating anything acidic for the first months (including chocolate.) Anything with above normal acid would make him scream and miserable.

(But I could eat curry, go figure!)

I wish I knew something fun you could do with it. Maybe call the bank anyway and ask them?

Christy said...

I'm the queen of throwing things away if you want me to come over and just do it! Ask Carl...I've been throwing away his stuff for years!

Deb said...

I'm with Christy.... So if you need TWO people to help you throw things out, let me know!!! I know you worked so hard for the brestmilk, but it's time to say goodbye.

So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehn, good night, I hate to go and leave this pretty sight....

That's for all you Sound of Music fans out there. :)

lisa v. clark said...

This sounds like a job. . . for. . . BOB VALENTINE!!! He'll just throw it away (and everything else), no questions asked. I'm just sayin'. . .think about it.

You could always dig a hole, pour it in, and plant a tree in Whitney's honor. MMMMMMmmmmm, nutrient rich! Or make a batch of decadent carmel corn! Share your triumph with the neighborhood!

Christy said...

I'll be wary now if I ever see you bringing caramel corn to an activity!

Hollie said...

Well, if you had to move you wouldn't have a problem throwing them away:) I can't believe all the things I have gotten rid of. Some a bit sentimental, but since I've gotten rid of them I really haven't thought about them...ya know. I say make room for the Dove Bars and Totino's Pizza! Or should I say Pudding Pops?

wendysue said...

I actually am surprised Matt hasn't just tossed it while I was out someday. . .I guess he knows better. Hee hee.

Deb--if only you knew how well I know that song. My siblings and I used to put on a singing show at our house to all our neighbors every year. . .kind of like a piano/singing recital. Anyway, our favorite was to sing that in our bathrobes at the end of the show. . .I was the youngest at the time so I got to sing little Gretels part. . ."The sun. . . .has gone. . .to bed and so must I. . ." So hilarious!! I agree it is time to say goodbye.

Lisa--can I just explain how hard I was laughing at your comment. . .I can just see and hear good old Robert over here. . ."Oh, Wendy, you don't need all this junk. . .throw it OUT!! NOW!!" Hmm. . .maybe the caramel corn. . .when's that next Ward Cookout Activity?

Christy--dang, you're in on it. . .just don't pass the word. . .

Destin--mmmm. pudding pops. . .You know how Bill Cosby always says it. . .there's always room for J-E-L-L--O! Pudding pops that is!

Lianne said...

Oh I remember the days of pumping and feeling this weird sensation that I was throwing part of me away when some breastmilk had gone "bad". It's weird.

Glad she's eating better.. it will sure make life easier on you!

Suzie Petunia said...

Dang, girl! Just throw it away!! Heartless, I know. I breastfed my babes, too. But I am a staunch believer in getting rid of things that are simply taking up space and will never be used. *laughing at myself* You should see my cluttered house full of stuff I don't need. I have no right to be giving such advice. Never mind.