(OK, so I tried, and tried and TRIED to get a picture to post here, but blogger and I are not very good friends today I guess so. . .just use your imagination!!)
Since our remodeling project, I've been trying to become one of those people that can just throw away/give away things. I tend to hold onto too much, in many different ways. "I might need that. . .someday." It's hard to throw away things I've worked on, worked for or worked through. That brings me to this. Breastmilk.
Did I lose anyone?
Whitney was a tough baby. You can read more about our fun time
here. She was diagnosed MSPI finally around 8 weeks. I then embarked on what I thought was "Mission Impossible." A dairy, soy, nut free diet. It may not seem so bad, but that stuff is in everything. EVERYTHING!! Yuck. I had to starve myself, or work very hard at fixing my own meals while watching Matt and the girls eat something I really wanted. I'm amazed that I talked myself into it, struggled through it and actually triumphed. I never want to have to do it again, but I did it. And the real benefit? It worked. Whitney actually became a mostly happy baby. After around 6 months of the diet, she started to be fussy, inconsolable, and have yucky diapers again. So frustrating. Nothing like not knowing if it's you, or teeth, or some illness, or the bananas, or squash that she ate that is making her angry. Time and again, I was convinced it was me, questioning every tiny thing that could've passed my lips. So, we gave in, examined our finances and tried the formula. Not just regular run-of-the-mill formula, but the expensive stuff. Yeah, if you thought just formula was expensive try this. . . she had to be on Alimentum formula. For a 16 oz. formula (ready to feed-no adding water) container, it's $7.49. And that's at it's lowest price we've seen. Oh, and once it's open, you have to use it within 48 hours. I don't do math, but even I knew it was going to be a pinch. On the advice of the pediatrician, we decided to do a trial run on the formula to see if she could tolerate it and if it would help. So I continued to pump for two weeks while we tried the formula. No bad reactions and her attitude did seem better and best of all. . .if she was fussy or gassy. . it WASN'T MY FAULT.
Fast forward to this month. Whitney is a fabulous kiddo. She toddles around and loves to grin and make you laugh. Totally independent and loves her sisters. She's eating great and just this last month is finally tolerating regular milk (a little gassy, but nothing like before) for her morning and night time drink. This week she even had a grilled cheese sandwich, bites of ice cream, cottage cheese and regular cheese. I cringed this first few times feeding her something with dairy but it's getting better. I'm SO glad she has seemed to grow out of it.
Every time over the last 6 months, I would go to our big freezer in the basement and I was forced to use my Tetris skills as I manuvered the food around the bags and bags of frozen breastmilk. Now, 6 months after I stopped pumping, it's offically past it's "use by" time so I need to throw it away. THROW IT AWAY? After all that I put into that? I can't do it. I know, I know, I should have given it to the milk bank at some hospital or given it away to someone, it just didn't get done. I don't know if I was just lazy or I just didn't want to, but in any case, it's still sitting in my freezer, staring at me.